Not long ago I moved to NYC right after graduating from college. Prior to this move, my dating life had been non-existent and I also have not held it’s place in a relationship. After going and having settled, we started initially to go on it more really and began really venturing out on times. About 2 months or more ago, we matched with this particular man whom appeared like my kind. We continued a night out together, hit it well, and started initially to venture out more. We have been seeing one another every week and I also’ve invested the evening over at their spot maybe once or twice. Right from the start we had been clear as to what we had been to locate; I wanted to start out dating casually and then he had simply gotten away from a long-lasting relationship, so he had been into one thing casual also.
Not long ago I wished to observe how it was going – like in, ended up being it nevertheless casual or had it be another thing. I have always been extremely bad at picking right on up social cues thus I asked him straight exactly exactly how he felt about us continuing to see one another later on (i enjoy him therefore I ended up being longing for a yes). That is when he I would ike to understand extremely politely that he’s polyamorous. This entire time we assumed he had been monogamous I felt kind of embarrassed for assuming since it had never come up, and. He explained which he has it in the dating app profile, however when we compared them, their profile back at my phone doesn’t show the category, so thanks technology!
We chatted he explained that he’s currently seeing two other people about it for a bit and. I’ve zero information about poly relationships and additionally feel just like that is an extremely blurry line that is thin our company is perhaps not formally dating and I also’ve already been seeing other folks. We suppose i am composing this to kind of clear my mind out and determine what to complete next. I’m actually into him and desire to keep seeing him but i have type of reached a wall surface. We have really small experience with dating and zero experience/knowledge on poly relationships. I am aware theoretically I do not need to be poly, and I also’m OK with him being therefore, but I would like to manage to realize to see if it might work-out or what what to ask when we keep seeing each other more frequently. Any suggestions about what direction to go, if i will after all?
People reside polyamorous everyday lives in every kinds of methods. As it should) if you read up on what it means to be in an ethically non-monogamous relationship (and I’m sure you’ve done some googling, at the very least), you’ll learn that the word “consent” comes up a lot (. A huge element of it’s about everybody else understanding and accepting the terms. That form of sharing of data has not occurred right here, but 2 months in, with larger emotions from the relative line, it requires to.
It seems like in this full instance, this guy is pleased to date you so long as he can be with other people. But is he additionally looking for a main partner? In that case, will it be you? You will need to ask more questions by what he wishes through the relationship and just just just what part you perform inside the life.
Then you definitely need to be truthful you want from him with yourself about what. It’s not necessary to be okay with this particular arrangement. If you are searching for monogamy/exclusivity with some body – or you desire it for your own future – it’s not necessary to compromise.
I’m perhaps maybe not saying you shouldn’t pursue this; you could enjoy particularly this sort of relationship, and you also appear really ready to accept the prospective for closeness and joy here. However the interaction has got to progress because of this to exert effort. Make a summary of whatever you wish to know and keep chatting.